grids of busyness

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Introduction

In general, the relationship between the children and parents is the beginning of the individual relationship, and the parental rearing style has a great influence on individual growth. Actually, this idea has been recognized by psychologists at the beginning of the establishment of psychology. No one can dispute the fact that parenting has a great influence on the relationship between children and others. In the novel “Bumping Into Mr. Ravioli”, a three-year-old girl named Olivia always imagined a friend named Ravioli who was seven and a half. Almost all the people include the psychologist think the phenomenon that a child imagine an invisible friend to play with her is normal. In fact, this story reflects the fact that the common phenomenon in American society that parents ignore children’s mental health development. In this paper, I will focus on the fact that busy parents are not conducive to the formation of children's interpersonal relationship and the establishment of intimate relationships.

As a matter of fact, the parenting style has a significantly important impact on children's interpersonal trust. And there is a correlation between interpersonal trust and parenting style. Rotenberg claims that a positive parenting style makes a contribution to increasing children's interpersonal trust, especially fostering children's quality to help others (Rotenberg, 1995). If parents can spend more time to accompany their children and give children more care, warmth and understanding, their children will be more likely to trust others and foster intimate relationships with others. On the contrary, a negative parenting style decline children’s interpersonal trust. Nowadays, the majority of parents in the United States tend to ignore the psychological needs of their children because they are too busy. These groups of parents hold the idea that it is enough to give children material security. They even think that a child with a false friend is a common and normal phenomenon. Actually, they do not care about the inner world of their children at all. They are only busy in their work and neglect the education of their children. Children who grow up in this environment are prone to loneliness and psychological defects, which make them unable to trust others easily, and can not foster intimate relationships with others. Thus, a good way of parental rearing has a direct impact on children's trust in others, moral quality and the formation of a correct outlook on life. Parenting always plays a significantly important role in the formation of children's interpersonal trust. Parents' behavior and moral quality have a profound influence on their children. The original motivation of children's trust is mainly from the parents' education mode and the personality traits formed during the process of growth. Therefore, parents should not ignore the education and care of their children on the pretext of being too busy. Instead, parents ought to take the correct way of education to help them to foster intimate relationships with other people around them. When children can form stable personality characteristics, they are possible to generate interpersonal trust and foster intimate relationships with other individuals in the future.  

Studies have shown that children with intimate relationships are more independent and more adaptable to their future life. According to Ahlborg & Strandmark, the relationship between parents and children is the basis on the interpersonal relationship and children’s self-awareness also comes from their relationships with their parents (Ahlborg & Strandmark, 2001). Parents' love and affirmation to their children can encourage children to confidently interact with others, to trust their own judgments, and to rely on others as little as possible.  

It is necessary for parents to pay more attention to communicating with their children. A significant number of parents are busy with phone calls, watching TV and chatting. Their children repeat one question to attract their attention, but there is no response. In fact, a child can totally judge whether their parents are caring about them attentively. And parents’ loose state will inevitably affect children, so that children may gradually believe that their parents' companionship is not so important. As a result, this kind of children tend to play with their invisible friends and are not interested in lots of things. In fact, children only hope to get more love and care from their children.

Hence, parents should concentrate on talking with their children, or go out with them to do some outdoor activities. Enough love and attention will help children to develop healthy personality. Dulcan et al. claim that if parents pay more attention to their children, their children will be more likely to foster the emotional connections with them, and to feel that they are trusted and respected (Dulcan et al., 2009). Consequently, children are more likely to learn to share their own emotions with their parents. In the long run, children can develop a healthy psychology, and get the ability to communicate with others and foster intimate relationships with others around them.

What is more, the intimate relationship between parents and their children can make them share more happiness and establish a safe and healthy environment, in which their children can enjoy the freedom to express themselves and get affirmation and trust from their parents. Thus, they can express their love to others, learn to care and sympathy others. As a matter of fact, all of these make a great contribution to fostering an intimate relationship.

Conclusion

Nowadays, many parents are too busy, so that they neglect the education and concern for their children in America. In fact, it is not conductive to helping their children to foster intimate relationships with others. Children growing up in an environment without care and guidance are less likely to foster intimate relationships with their parents and other people. Thus, under these circumstances, parents should spend more time caring about their kids, so that their children will not feel lonely. Parents ought to show more love and attention to their children especially on psychology, and provide a healthy environment for their children.

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