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Essay evaluation

2020-06-24 来源: 51Due教员组 类别: Paper范文

网课代修,网课代写,作业代写,北美代写,代写

下面为大家整理一篇优秀的essay代写范文 -- Essay evaluation,文章讲述对于您的论文的第一部分,我不得不说,您已经使用Michael Benanav的话作了自然而舒适的介绍。通过引用,您可以在很大程度上吸引读者的注意力,并自然地揭示语言在一个国家文化发展中的重要地位。然后,您认为英语作为美国化的要素之一,将对菲律宾的母语产生严重影响。下一步,您将直接而清晰地提出自己的观点。您的写作的这一部分非常合乎逻辑,合理且成功,给读者留下了良好的印象。

 

 

Essay evaluation

 

Dear Moa:

 

I would like to congratulate you on finishing your major paper in such an excellent manner. You have done a good job and I really appreciate it, so I am writing this letter to share with you some of my views on your writing. It is a process that we will learn from each other. Hope that this letter can give you some pertinent advice and help you better polish your paper. I think your paper has highlights in terms of introduction, structure and concrete evidence, while drawbacks at the aspects of stake, relation of titles and direct citation.

 

For the first part of your paper, I have to say that you already make up a natural and comfortable introduction by using the saying of Michael Benanav. With the quotation, you largely attract readers’ attention and naturally reveal the important position of language in the development of a country’s culture. Then you put forward the view that English, as one element of Americanization, will have a serious impact on the native tongue of Philippine. The next step you present your argument directly and clearly. This part of your writing is quite logical, reasonable and successful and leaves readers a good impression.

 

As for the body part of your paper, I appreciate you can use subtitles specifically, as they have played an active role in making the structure of your writing more clear. In the first part of “The Effect of English Filipino Education”, you do an excellent job on the further and further exploration of the discussed topic in terms of content. It first talks about English’s impact on regular classroom, then on bilingual classroom, then finally on our next generation, which is increasingly logical. Through this logical writing, I believe that you are a great thinker with spirit of exploration. In the process of explanation, you also use some evidence to make your argument convincing, which deserves appreciation.

 

In the part of “The Use of English to gain Economic Leverage”, what I would like to highlight is that you use Singapore as an example to strike the counterclaim, which is concrete and persuasive. Also, when you analyze the counterclaim, you can explain the two sides of the using English rather than highlighting the weak side of using English. I have been convinced by you in this part of your paper.

 

It should be admitted that this paper you write has many merits deserving learning. However, there are some points I would like to point out that I consider as deserving improvement.

 

There is still lack of supportive point of your argument in the first paragraph “The usage of English in Filipino classroom...” of your body part. In this part, you point out that the use of English makes it difficult for students to learn because they need to transform between two kinds of languages. However, as far as I am concerned, it is a general and inevitable problem when we are learning any new language. The same problem will also occur when we are learning other languages. Therefore, in my opinion, it has no direct link with your argument that the prevalence of English hinders Filipino’s cultural development. In other words, though what you say in this paragraph is true, it does not have close link with your argument. As far as I am concerned, Focus of your writing should be the explanation of why it is English and how English impacts Filipino culture.

 

Moreover, you use three subtitles “ The Effect of English in Filipino Education”, “ The Use of English to Gain Economic Leverage” and “ A Dying Culture: The Social Implications of Adapting English” to make your writing clearer. Although it is a good choice, I think it has some problems. First, through these subtitles, seemingly, there are no regular relations among these three parts. In other words it cannot give readers ideas about how your writing goes deeper and deeper or orderly. Second, the part of “A Dying Culture: The Social Implications of Adapting English”, for me, is more prone to a conclusion because there are some contents you have mentioned before. Thus, I am sorry that it actually makes me a little bit confused.

 

Another thing I would like to point out is that though you have evidences to support your argument, it will be better if you give out more direct citation which will help to make your writing more convincing. For example, when you use the example of Singapore, I think it is better and more convincing if you can quote relative arguments from other authors. With some relevant quotations, readers would be much more convinced by your paper, I think.

 

Sincerely, I have to say that you have written a good paper with clear argument. I really appreciate it. I also put forward some of my views because I believe that your paper can be better. Peer review is a process for learning from each other. Hope that both of us can make remarkable progress.

 

Sincerely, yours

 

Name

 

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