Boundary setting

下面为大家整理一篇优秀的assignment代写范文- Boundary setting，供大家参考学习，这篇论文讨论了界限的设定。所谓界限，就是要分清哪些是自己的责任，哪些是别人的责任，承担正确的责任，才能在生活中获得幸福。在缺乏意识的情况下，大多数人可能会在某个时候无意中遇到边界问题。每个人都需要明确自己的界限，这样我们的父母才能成为好父母，朋友才能成为好朋友，老板才能成为断断续续的管理者，下属才能成为忠诚的下属。通过设定界限，我们会变得更真实，在我们的能力和限制下变得更好。

Overview

Regardless of what the authors’ arguments are, the whole book Boundary is centering around the theme of responsibility. The so-called boundary is about distinguishing which ones are one’s own responsibilities, which ones are the responsibility of others, and assume the correct responsibilities to achieve happiness in life. The author is using a different narrative to teach people to distinguish and assume responsibility for themselves step by step.

Setting boundaries is not only a compassion for oneself, but also a compassion for others. Our boundaries are our responsibility. In the absence of awareness, most people may inadvertently encounter a boundary problem at some point. Everyone needs to clearly understand their boundaries, so that our parents can become good parents, friends become good friends, bosses become fitful supervisors, and the subordinates become loyal subordinates. Through setting boundaries, we will become truer to ourselves, better under our capabilities and limitations. We will have a happier and more successful life.

Chapter 12 Response

An important theme of Chapter 12 is setting boundaries for the self to fulfill our responsibilities. We are in an era that is good at creating temptations. With the emergence of the Internet, the temptation is even more powerful. For example, many students are accustomed to this rhythm: the first thing to go home is not to do homework right away, but to open a regular web page to see gossip news; or to use the social network. Most of the time, minutes and hours have passed, we have not started learning at all. "Instead, he is left with unrealized desires, half-baked projects, and the realization that tomorrow will begin with him running behind schedule (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)." But the temptation of the Internet may only be the appearance. How people submit to desires and temptation is worthier of our consideration.

Contrary to our common sense, patients with procrastination are not all unmotivated. On the contrary, many people even have high demands on themselves. As stated in the book, "we are our own worst enemies (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)." The malformed perfectionist sees things as a test of their abilities. There is a false creed in their hearts: If they can't do something easily, it is proof of their incompetence. Sometimes a test failure can shake their belief in the whole life. Procrastination has become a helpless choice for some people to escape the risk of failure.

Fundamentally, procrastination and failure to set the self-boundary reflects the inherent weakness of human will. "We try to use willpower to solve our boundary problems (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992). This is why most people keep failing to meet the schedules. In trying to find a way to get along with others and with ourselves, "allow yourself to fail (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)" should be adopted as an important first step in establishing effective boundaries.

Chapter 13 Response

Believers are most concerned about whether their sins can be forgiven by God and whether their souls can be saved. Such a belief is highly utilitarian. "We feel entitled to God's favor, as if he has to do what we want him to (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)." This sinful view leads to a misunderstanding that Christianity is only regarded as a religion of judgment. We should see that the over-emphasis on God's redemption also raises the question of belief and unbelief. As a result, God's supposed redeemed persons set up a barrier to redemption. Instead of relying too much on religion in solving all the daily problems, people should seek clearly defined boundaries between God and people. "God is free from us. When he does something for us, he does it out of choice. He is not "under compulsion" or guilt or manipulation (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

From the first few chapters of Genesis, we can see that God places people in the most noble position in creation, giving them governance and managing everything. It can be seen that God not only continues to create himself, but also invites his people to participate in creating. Then, people should be kind to the earth and use resources reasonably. "God desires truth in our "inner parts" (Ps. 51:6). He is seeking people who will have a real relationship with him (John 4:23–24) (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992).” Therefore, the Christian duty is to present a loving, peaceful, upright, fair, benevolent, holy, faithful, gentle, and compassionate image of God through the believers to the rest of the world. "If we do our work, and God does his, we will find strength in a real relationship with our Creator (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

Chapter 14 Response

Being angry is part of life, just like memory, happiness and compassion. No one will take the initiative to choose to be angry. It is an instinctive response based on our nervous system. In fact, anger is one of the first feelings that a newborn baby is first identified by her mother. If you are angry, it means that others are dissatisfied with you in some way, but to a greater extent, anger reflects your own situation, such as your temperament, the way you see the world, whether your life is stable and harmonious, etc. "People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

People don't have to be a victim of their own or other people’s anger. When the world doesn't treat people like they want, they can choose the way to cope on their own. You can choose the color of their shirt, or what to eat for breakfast, or when to go jogging in the afternoon, etc. Similarly, they can choose how to express their anger and embrace another people’s anger. Being angry can cause problems, but no one can guarantee that they are not angry. Anger is a very popular feeling - whether it is a man or a woman, a child or an old man, a rich or a poor, educated or uneducated, no matter what skin color, ethnic group, or religious believer, anyone will be troubled by anger. "It is not the situation that's making the person angry, but the feeling that they are entitled to things from others (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

Anger can't be completely eliminated, and there is no need to eliminate it. But one needs to manage and control it very well. "Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)." Manage and control anger through some positive ways and boundaries is what everyone needs to learn to make peace with the world.

Chapter 15 Response

The strength of the heart stems from the full affirmation of self-worth. Self-worth is a self-determined value that does not depend on people, and things other than oneself. It is an embodiment of an independent personality. In life, some people often use other people's evaluation as a measure of their own value. As a result, it is often impossible to confirm their own value, pessimistically and self-deprecatingly, and their level of self-efficacy is low. When seeking approval becomes a need, you will dedicate some of your value to 'outsiders'. If these people raise objections, you will be forced to comply.

The strength of the heart stems from a deep understanding of the nature of things. "Boundary-injured individuals are slaves. They struggle to make value-based decisions on their own, but they most often reflect the wishes of those around them (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)." Life has a complete set of understanding. Due to the lack of practical experience, people are easily obscured by the appearance of things and neglect the essence of things, blindly identify, blindly reject, conform to popular fashion, often affecting the judgment on the essence.

In this case, you are placing your self-worth under the control of others, and they can freely raise or degrade your own boundaries, which is dangerous. That is to say, if a person must prove himself through outside evaluation, it can only show that he is not strong enough. Only when you no longer need to rely on the outside world to judge your own value, you can prove your worth, and your heart is truly powerful. One way to do this is by " being around people who believe that grace and truth are good (John 1:17). You will begin to see that taking responsibility for yourself is healthy, and you will begin to understand that Taking responsibility for other adults is destructive (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

Chapter 16 Response

This last chapter describes a day with clearly-set boundaries, or responsibilities. It doesn't matter if people is poor or rich, as long as they are calm, spiritually enriched, there is still much joy in life. Even if you are rich, if the mentality is not peaceful enough, you never know that you are satisfied, then you can't enjoy the joy of life. It not only reminds people to be content with the current conditions, but also tells people to understand the simple truth. No matter whether you are in good or bad times, whether you are poor or rich, you must be calm and defined with the boundaries, not complaining, and not submitting to desires either. As the protagonist did: "she'd posted feeling guilty about taking the time away from other things to work on her body. Getting in shape made her a better wife, mom, and friend. And she liked herself better (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992)."

The survival value of a person must be recognized by others. First of all, you can integrate into the society with a peaceful attitude. Like in the book, "I'll always be poor in spirit, she thought. But my boundaries help me find the time to receive the kingdom of heaven. I'll always mourn the losses I suffer in this lifetime. But setting limits Help me find the comfort I need from God and others (Cloud, & Townsend, 1992).". As long as you do yourself, be clear to anyone, and be worthy of your own conscience, this is the value of a successful life. Don’t take things that are not related to you, and then complain that others don’t understand you, etc. Dreams are understandable, but if you set yourself too high and unattainable, you can calm down your mindset, choose to let go of the burdens, and re-select an achievable goal. These seemingly little things will add unlimited happiness to one’s life.

Reference

Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to say yes, when to say no to take control of your life. Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan Pub. House.

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