Grassroots_Critique

This paper was on a very interesting topic that surrounded the women's grassroots movements. The first critiques will just be outlining the portions that I noticed could use some work as I did my first reading through the paper. The physical aspects that could changed to strengthen the paper the first was found in the abstract the format would look much better if the abstract was presented on the cover page, or on a separate page that was segregated from the rest of the paper. Another aspect I noticed while reading the paper was the fact that the individual defined many terms at the beginning although this was certainly effective. I think it would have improved the overall appearance if the individual included an index to define these terms or perhaps just defined them when the used them throughout. The reason I would suggest this is because a paper should grab your attention from the beginning and reading terms at the start certainly is not as engaging as reading an interesting paragraph on the paper. The second was found in the format, it is much easier to read a paper when it is presented in a double spaced format. This is also a criteria of the format Dr. Bittner recommended us to write in. I also noticed the flow in some of the paragraphs could have been reinforced with a stronger transition from one paragraph to the next. Although there was certainly some paragraphs that had this present some did not. An example of this is found in the following paragraph on page 6. Because of the extent of the patriarchal judiciary system in Egypt, these types of claims have the reputation of spanning years when women are not educated in their legal rights (Ammar and Lababidy, 1999: 161-2). The importance of these types of grassroots initiatives cannot be stressed enough. The women in this organization particularly did not need to publically protest, or form pressure groups to change governmental policy on the status of women and women’s issues. Although there is some fantastic information found in these paragraphs if the individual had progressed into the next paragraph with identifying what a legal right consisted of or if they had said that women's grassroots protects these rights and this is why these women's grassroots movements are so critical. I think it would have improved the overall flow and therefore strengthened the paper. Another aspect that could have been improved was when bringing up specific incidents perhaps including the outcome. Outlining if their efforts did have an influence and did the government admit to their faults. These specific events did help identify how grassroots work and what the point of them is, but it did not identify the effectiveness of the movement. If we knew that the groups were successful in their efforts we would then certainly be informed of the effectiveness of these women's groups. One of the particular examples of grassroots movements where women were effective participants in instances that resulted in fundamental policy changes were the theatrical street demonstrations in Chile and Argentina protesting against authoritarian governments and their military’s tactics between 1976 and 1982. These governments were using undemocratic and anti human rights tactics to quiet political adversaries: they were capturing activists, torturing them and ultimately committing murder without legal cause or justice. In trying to suppress social change and an entire generation of young people committed to social justice, thirty thousand people were captured and silenced (Kaplan, 2004: 3-4). Instead of these actions going unnoticed, fearless mothers took it upon themselves to hold the government accountable, and shame them into admitting their atrocities. On page 7 in the following paragraph: The AAW uses their elite status to partner with other national and international nongovernmental organizations, raise funds, and help local grassroots programs, without taking on and extremist approach traditionally seen in feminist groups in Egypt. East Timor was a Portuguese colony until it was invade and occupied by the Indonesian military in 1975. During the 25 years of occupation, the Timorese people were governed by the Indonesian government as a province, and were subject to their armed control. The introduction of the Portuguese colony could have been improved if it was surfaced in the previous paragraph. It seems as though there is not a smooth transition found to introduce this. Perhaps if they had brought up the topic in the previous paragraph it would not have seemed so random. The ideas were connected but I think the paragraph could have began with something that tied extremists views to East Timor or something should have been stated immediately about East Timor having an extremist approach. It would have made the connection much stronger. The paper is certainly a very interesting one, I think it could have been improved if there was a little more on women who joined these groups and had life changing occurrences. I know there was a great article that we were encouraged to read by Dr. Bittner that involved Jewish movement groups and other AAW movement groups. In these groups the women had previously had traditional beliefs and after they took part in these movements, even though they were frowned upon by many individuals in the country they still took part and as a result claimed to have life changing experiences. I think if this was reinforced it may produce a motivational aspect to women through reading this paper. I do agree with the overall message of the paper that grassroots are very important and certainly need to be separate from the government because they certainly help bring up minorities issues. I do think that although women are involved in politics they still could support these groups. So although the paper does take a different perspective on the view of women not joining politics and supporting groups. I still do think that it is important to encourage their participation in politics and grassroots combined. If this side was incorporated throughout the paper it could have surfaced another interesting idea that women legislators taking part in women's grassroots could certainly increase the effectiveness of the group. Overall the paper was very well written the major issue was found with flow and the transition. This incorporated could have just improved the paper as a whole.